Dagger Dolls
Lydia Punch #789
Derby Date of Birth: Season 1, 2004
Position(s): Blocker, Jammer, Pivot Athletic Background:
Just rollerskating, the bird dance and the hokey pokey. Bio:
Lydia Punch’s parents met on the set of Saturday Night Fever. Her father was delivering John Travolta’s cocaine while her mother was styling his wavy locks. Immediately, the two fell hopelessly in love and planned to raise a freaky disco-loving family. However they had no idea that their first born child, a beautiful baby girl, would turn out to be the antithesis of disco - a side-snearing, stud-wearing, Aqua Net spraying punk rocker. Their first indication of trouble should have been when Lydia started stapling her bell bottoms closed, or the day that she knocked down the family’s prized disco ball - destroying it like a Cinco de Mayo piñata. Thinking that all she needed was a little attention, Mr. and Mrs. Punch decided to take dear sweet Lydia to a Friday night roller disco. Approximately 12 minutes into the night, Lydia was forcibly ejected after beating the owner’s son, a polyester wearing 8-year old, to a bloody pulp. All the poor kid wanted to do was shoot the funky duck. The night could have been disastrous, but instead it changed Lydia’s life. Not only did she realize her joy of skating, but also learned to channel her hatred of all things disco. To this day, before each bout, she locks herself into the janitor’s closet and listens to ““Dancing Queen”” to amp herself up for derby destruction. Her parents are so proud. Likes:
Dagger Dolls Team Spirit 2008, All Stars Seasons 1 and 2
Position(s): Blocker, Jammer, Pivot Athletic Background:
Just rollerskating, the bird dance and the hokey pokey. Bio:
Lydia Punch’s parents met on the set of Saturday Night Fever. Her father was delivering John Travolta’s cocaine while her mother was styling his wavy locks. Immediately, the two fell hopelessly in love and planned to raise a freaky disco-loving family. However they had no idea that their first born child, a beautiful baby girl, would turn out to be the antithesis of disco - a side-snearing, stud-wearing, Aqua Net spraying punk rocker. Their first indication of trouble should have been when Lydia started stapling her bell bottoms closed, or the day that she knocked down the family’s prized disco ball - destroying it like a Cinco de Mayo piñata. Thinking that all she needed was a little attention, Mr. and Mrs. Punch decided to take dear sweet Lydia to a Friday night roller disco. Approximately 12 minutes into the night, Lydia was forcibly ejected after beating the owner’s son, a polyester wearing 8-year old, to a bloody pulp. All the poor kid wanted to do was shoot the funky duck. The night could have been disastrous, but instead it changed Lydia’s life. Not only did she realize her joy of skating, but also learned to channel her hatred of all things disco. To this day, before each bout, she locks herself into the janitor’s closet and listens to ““Dancing Queen”” to amp herself up for derby destruction. Her parents are so proud. Likes:
- Zedonks
- Rock & Roll
- Ben Stiller
- Misogyny
Dagger Dolls Team Spirit 2008, All Stars Seasons 1 and 2